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Judith Wilson
Joe and his Annoying Aunt on his birthday
Two-year-old Joe touches a fruit and splutters, ‘Onge.’
‘Well done.’ His aunt smiles.
He’s three when she asks, ‘What’s that?’
‘Orange.’
He’s learning.
At four his aunt asks, ‘What rhymes with orange?’
Joe sings, ‘Borange, smorange, horange.’
‘Clever boy.’
When he’s five. ‘What rhymes with orange?’
‘Nothing rhymes with orange.’
At six. ‘What rhymes with orange?’
‘Will you stop asking this stupid question. Every birthday you do it. It’s annoying. Orange has no rhyme. OK?’
At seven. ‘What rhymes with orange?’
‘Sporange. An old botanical term for the structure where spores are produced.’
Smug.
Bloody Internet.

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